I had been playing with her and my husband in the bedroom and taking photos of our shenanigans. Then I laid down the camera on our nightstand and stretched my body over our bed. I was stretching all those achy muscles and body parts that seem to occur naturally as a housewife…
I noticed my camera was now in the hands of my little toddler. In a split moment, we as parents, decided to let her try it out.
“look in here, press the button!”
She was enthralled to learn such a simple task, photographing things like mama does. Naturally, I was giggling at her as she clicked away… it wasn’t until later I got the chance to see the photos she took…
I could hardly breathe looking at me. Me, through the lense of my daughter, me. It is such a rare occasion that I see myself any other way than this:
“Stressed out of my mind, always tackling endless piles of laundry, never happy, disorganized, not attentive, always cooking and cleaning what I’m cooking then cleaning what was messed up while I was cleaning, always yelling…”
But here, here in this photo, my daughter captured me. The essence of me that gets lost in all that stuff and that negative self talk. My daughter won’t really remember all the cleaning and cooking I did when she was younger. Neither will my husband (usually because he’s busy cleaning or working, too).
I realize that I hardly give myself permission to notice me as is and love me as is.
This moment and moments to come, I will start giving myself permission to love myself as is, love myself as my loved ones love me… in the purest ways coming from the heart of a toddler.
Letticia Vickner, Creator & Editor
You can find my personal Instagram account here
I have been married to Erik for nearly three years. Minimalism, coping mechanisms and trigger warnings are all a part of my daily life as I struggle through anxiety that began at a young age. I find myself reading novel after novel, ignoring the world around me while listening to a good podcast or having time to myself to recharge and reboot for what the world asks of me on a daily basis.